


Please Still Be in Love With Me

by Avionic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, dedicated to my favourite people, i'm trash, im sorry, its so short, like super light angst, no triggers i think, please dont hate me, short lil ficlet for one of my fav rarepairs, there are like 7 of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avionic/pseuds/Avionic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>dedicated to my precious loves, famke, mooks, sage, kayley, kat, ari, and dani</p><p>this one's for you.</p><p>and to all the other readers too;</p><p>listen to this to really feel it; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zryovw_FD4Y</p>
    </blockquote>





	Please Still Be in Love With Me

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my precious loves, famke, mooks, sage, kayley, kat, ari, and dani
> 
> this one's for you.
> 
> and to all the other readers too;
> 
> listen to this to really feel it; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zryovw_FD4Y

“It’s dark.” Iwaizumi thinks, as he lies down on _their_  bed.

Iwaizumi can’t remember when he last got a goodnight’s worth of sleep. Three days ago? Last week? Last month?

No. He can’t remember.

It’s been like this since Hinata left, since they fought. Iwaizumi would come home from class, expect his boyfriend to run up to him and kiss him, and cuddle like they always do. Then he remembers the fighting, the screaming, the crying, and Hinata leaving.

He’ll then proceed to go up to their room, if he could still call it _their_ room, he’ll lie down and try (But fail miserably) to sleep. He’ll look over to where Hinata should be.

_“He should be here.”_

Except he isn’t, and it breaks Iwaizumi every day. Every day Hinata isn’t there and his scent is fading, his sweet scent that Iwaizumi could breathe in every moment, of every day is fading, and he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t.

_“What a disgrace to my olfactory senses.”_

“How did it get to this, my love?” Iwaizumi is voicing his most inner thoughts, as he shifts to lie on his side, thinking maybe staring into that empty space might bring him back.

“It’s my fault.” Iwaizumi closes his eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Iwaizumi remembers it very clearly. It’s been burned into his memory; it’s something time won’t erase, something he will never forget. He can see the tears wanting to well up in Hinata’s eyes, he knows he’s done it now.

How could he have been so stupid to think, that this wouldn’t come to bite him.

And Iwaizumi’s just standing there, his head hung in shame. There’s no other explanation for his actions.

Unspeakable.

Unforgivable.

Unfathomable.

 _“Where is your I’ll never hurt you now? Asshole.”_   Iwaizumi thinks.

But as he stares into Hinata’s eyes and slurs all his words, he can’t help but think of how much of a pathetic human being he’s being right now.

“Where have you been, Hajime?” Hinata questions him once again, only to be met with no response.

Hinata is visually sick, and he can feel the knot in his throat. The words don’t want to come out; he doesn’t want them to come out. He doesn’t know what’s happening. It’s two in the morning, he should be sleeping, he should be sleeping next to _him._

But yet here they are in this bind, and Hinata wants to crumble but he can’t show weakness, not yet. He’s still holding it together, albeit barely. But he needs to get through. For his sake, damn it.

“Please. Hajime-“ Hinata is cut off by Hajime’s slurs but he makes it out.

He doesn’t want to believe it. This isn’t what he wants to hear, and before he can will it back his tears are falling. His greatest fear, the one thing he had never expected Hajime to do is creeping up on him and it’s consuming him.

“I’m sorry, Shouyou.” Iwaizumi’s looking at Hinata and reaching out to him, but Hinata flinches away and looks at him with eyes hurt obvious in them. “Please, I didn’t mean to-“

“How could you!?” Iwaizumi is taken aback by the raise in Hinata’s voice. He can _see_ what he’s done.

“I didn’t mean to Shouyou, I swear I-“

“But it doesn’t matter, Hajime!” Hinata pushes away from Iwaizumi’s grip on him. “I trusted you! I gave myself to you. and this.” Hinata looks at him, “Is this what I mean to you?” Hinata’s voice becomes small, and almost like a whisper gone in the wind the next moment, but Iwaizumi heard, and he can’t mistake the next three words that escaped Hinata’s lips. “I loved you..”

That was all it took for Iwaizumi to crumble, and immediately he was filled with desperation. He’s pushed Hinata up against a wall and his kissing him mumbling soft I love you’s and I’m sorry’s into the delicate areas of his smaller lover’s pale flesh.

“Stop.”

A low and delicate rumble.

“Stop.”

A choked back voice.

“Stop!”

And Iwaizumi does. He’s looking down in shock, and though they’ve had arguments in the past both petty and grand, Hinata never raised his voice, not even once. And Iwaizumi’s holding onto him so delicately, like he’s afraid of crushing him, but even then he doesn’t want to let go. He knows if he does, he’ll be gone forever. And Hinata is the only one who’s been there for him, and the past five years have been the best of Iwaizumi’s life that no other person would have been able to give him.

“I said stop, Iwaizumi.”

Hinata chokes on his tears. He’s losing it. This isn’t what he wants. This isn’t what five years was supposed to end in. But life is such a funny person. One moment a friend, the next a foe, and in this moment Hinata swore that life was playing around with him, toying with him even.

“Did you kiss her?”

The words come out small, but Iwaizumi heard it, and it takes a while for him to respond, because he knows the next one will break him.

“Yes.”

And Hinata feels the familiar stinging sensation prickle once again, and like the rain outside, Hinata’s tears are just cascading now.

“Did you sleep with her?”

Hinata wonders if he wants to know the answer to that question.

“Yes.”

Hinata wonders if this is what death feels like, where he can’t make out the jamboree of emotions in his heart.

Was it despair, anguish, guilt, pain? He doesn’t quite know what it is. What he does know is that it hurts, it hurts so much that he’s clutching the area where his heart should be, because quite frankly he’s not sure if it’s still there.

And if this is what heartbreak is, then he understands why people die because of it.

And if people call him weak because his knees have buckled under him as he hit the ground in a soft cry, then so be it.

Iwaizumi reaches out to the one on the ground, and so gingerly tries to hold him, afraid that one small touch would shatter the boy in front of him forever. It takes a moment for Iwaizumi to realize that he’s crying again.

 “I’m going to stay at Kenma’s.”

And Hinata packs a bag and shuts the door.

And Iwaizumi curses himself for letting the worst of him get him in this situation.

One moment with the other, as one thing led to another, and now he’s lost and broken his lover.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It’s a warm afternoon. That’s what the weather forecast said it would be, and indeed it is. But Iwaizumi feels everything but warm.

Everyday Hinata isn’t with him, he counts it. It’s been two months, and as Iwaizumi sits on his chair, staring idly at his desk as he tunes out of the busy lecture hall, he’s not sure he can handle any more of this rut.

But what can he do when Hinata doesn’t answer his messages, or doesn’t return any of his calls.

And fuck it because he’s not meant to live alone. He doesn’t want to sleep alone on their bed anymore, and fuck it because everything will stay the same in their apartment because it will always be an apartment and the furniture will always be furniture but without Hinata there with him, it will never be his home, because _Hinata is Iwaizumi’s home._

“Iwaizumi-kun.”

Iwaizumi transcends out of his thoughts only to have his Sensei’s gaze eye him carefully, and with a moment of tenderness displayed in the usually cold professor’s orbs he says;

“Class ended ten minutes ago.” Iwaizumi nods.

“And you’ve been staring at your desk for the past twenty minutes.”

Iwaizumi’s professor sighs.

“I don’t know much about you or what you’re going through.” The professor walks closer to Iwaizumi and places a hand on his shoulder. “But I do care about my student’s performance in my class.” Iwaizumi follows the speech carefully. “So whatever is bothering you… Rather whoever is bothering you.” The professor mimics a movement to his heart. “Fix it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Iwaizumi mentally prepares himself for the same mindless routine, where he’ll eat dinner, and take a shower, and fail to sleep and he’s not much sure of how long he can keep falling into this same routine, his body is getting used to it, and it’s raising too many red flags.

And as he walks into the front door,

And as he turns the key,

And as he walks up the stairs,

And opens the bedroom door,

“I’ve missed you.”

And Iwaizumi drops his bags, and pushes the smaller boy onto _their_ bed which is situated in _their_ bedroom, in _their home_.

And it’s been two months without his sunshine and as he peppers the smaller boy with kisses and mumbles “I'm sorry.” coupled with a thousand “I love you’s.”

And in those two months he’s realized that he doesn’t care for much as long as he has Hinata here with him, as he does in this moment.

Because Hinata is _his._

And Hinata is Iwaizumi’s home.

And he’s missed his voice, and his scent, and everything about him, and by God he loves him. He loves him so much and-

“I’ve missed you too, Hajime”

“So much.”

And if their hands were feeling more feverish amidst the crashing of lips that night, then not a word had to be said.

**Author's Note:**

> they had make up fun time
> 
> scream at me: theeccentricflyer.tumblr.com


End file.
